


I hurt you again, I shouldn't lie tonight (so the next few words are true)

by Band_obsessed



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Arguing, Charlieskies - Freeform, Cute, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Twitter feud, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 05:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3345248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Band_obsessed/pseuds/Band_obsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for this prompt: Dan is pissed about his argument with Charlie so when Phil tries to cheer him up Dan snaps at him. Phil goes all quiet and sad because Dan never snaps and him and Dan gives him cuddles to make up for it</p>
            </blockquote>





	I hurt you again, I shouldn't lie tonight (so the next few words are true)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Phanfic so I hope you enjoy it!!

Prompt:

Dan is pissed about his argument with Charlie so when Phil tries to cheer him up Dan snaps at him. Phil goes all quiet and sad because Dan never snaps and him and Dan gives him cuddles to make up for it

***

For fucks sake, Dan thought as he typed his reply as amicably as he possibly could to a person like Charlie via twitter. At first it was okay, just a tweet that suggested he was throwing shade but at the same time being somewhat nice although that changed pretty quick when they got further into the argument. Dan's phone buzzed next to him indicating a reply to his tweet and he was almost hesitant to look away from his Tumblr feed, not feeling up to fighting with anyone today. 

"@charlieskies: @danisnotonfire Oh okay i just thought you preferred holding balls ^_^" Dan's blood ran cold, heart beat resonating in his ears, chest constricting. No. He was not going to be outed by another person when neither he nor Phil were ready, and definitely not by a person like Charlie. Resisting the urge to type back something that was sure to get reported in a few seconds, he clenched his jaw and took a few deep breaths, seeing more tweets containing similar content as the previous one show up on his screen. After a few minutes and multiple breathing exercises to calm both the panic and the anger, he responded in the kindest way possible, even going as far as to compliment Charlie. Despite his best efforts, the replies he got still contained hostility and he could almost see the other boy smirking through his phone. Squeezing his eyes shut, he typed out his final reply before going back to account and deleting all the tweets he'd just written to him and shutting off his phone, anger coursing through his bones as he ducked his head and pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes. 

"Dan?" The younger boy's head snapped up to find Phil standing in the door way, concern prominent in his eyes, a frown tugging his eyebrows down. Phil hesitated slightly before slowly walking over to the bed and perching on the edge, unsure as to how to proceed. Dan looked at him through his fringe before he opened his arms and allowed Phil to clamber into his arms. 

"M'fine." Dan reassured the older boy, gently running his hand through his black hair, enjoying the feel of the silky strands between his fingers, smiling slightly when Phil nuzzled further into his neck, a content sigh falling from his lips. The silence was comfortable, just Dan rocking them both back and forth on the bed, his nose pressed into Phil's hair, trying to calm what anger remained. 

"I saw the tweets," Phil whispered, voice loud in the otherwise silent room and Dan's hand faltered for a moment in Phil's hair. Phil pulled back and locked his eyes with Dan, shooting him a look Dan couldn't quite pin down, "He was being mean. You should've just ignored him when he made the gay remark. Blocked him or summat." Dan shouldn't have got angry at that comment, he knew he shouldn't have, but he did, he did get angry and he snapped at Phil.

"What, and just let him out us? Yeah, amazing idea, Phil. What the fuck do you know about arguing anyway? You let people walk all over you. You would have thought you'd know better after your ex." Dan regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth and even more so when Phil's entire face fell, bottom lip quivering slightly as he pushed himself out of Dan's lap and ran out of the room before Dan could stop him.

"Phil! Phil, wait! Please!" Dan yelled, getting up and running after him, guilt weighing in his chest, stomach tying itself in knots. He shouldn't have said the last part. Okay, he shouldn't have said any of it but the last particularly. He knew about Phil's ex, knew how he could never stand up for himself and more importantly he knew how much Phil still regretted it, still hated even thinking about it. If it wasn't for the loud slamming of Phil's door, Dan wouldn't have even known where to look for him at all. 

"Baby, baby please open up. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, honey." Dan pleaded through the door, pushing on the handle and trying to get in again and again as if sheer will power would make the door unlock. Phil didn't reply, not intentionally anyway, but Dan could hear his muffled sobs and his heart shattered. Sucking in a harsh breath, he gripped his hair in his hands and tugged with all his might as he slid down the door, tears spilling down his cheeks at the thought that he'd made Phil cry, that he was the reason for his sobs. 

***  
After half an hour of pleading, Dan tried a new method. He slipped a note under the door with the word "Phil?" written on it. He heard shuffling footsteps and the sound of a pen against paper before the note was shoved back under the door, the reply being, "what?". Dan wrote the words, "I'm so sorry" before sliding it back under. He didn't get the note back. 

***  
"Phil! Phil open the fucking door now!" Dan yelled, banging at the wood with his fist. It had been two hours and Phil still wasn't even talking to him. He was about to yell again when Phil's voice shouted at him.

"Go away! Just go the fuck away! I don't want to see you! I'm not repeating what happened with my ex all over again!" Dan's mouth fell open in shock, half from the swearing and half from the fact that Phil saw him like he saw his ex, saw him as someone that would hurt him. Dan slumped down against the door once more, a mantra of 'stupid, so fucking stupid' running through his mind, tears silently sliding down his cheeks. He heard Phil's sobs start up again, the older boy clearly trying to muffle them, but failing miserably as they increased in harshness. Dan could only imagine how he looked, how his shoulders shook as his blue eyes dripped uncontrollably. 

Dan retreated back to his room and rubbed his eyes, not caring how red they were, nor how blotchy his cheeks were. He set up his tripod and camera, making sure everything was set up properly before sitting on his bed once more, preparing to say sorry in the only way he knew how. 

"Uh, this isn't, this isn't this weeks video. It's just a-an apology. I just wanted to say how fucking sorry I am. I had no right to say that, none at all. I- I was a dick, Phil. A complete dick and I know I should be saying this to your face or at least to your door but I know you wouldn't listen to me. Just know that you have every right to be pissed at me and even hate me but I really hope you don't. I guess I'm selfish like that. I fuck up, snap at you, and expect you to just come crawling back and that's so wrong. I should never take advantage of you like that. I- I need you in my life, Phil. Even if it is you just glaring at me from time to time. I've never had a best friend before you. Never really had any friends and now that I have the best friend in the whole fucking world, I can't lose you. I just can't. Anyway, this- this isn't a pity session for me, this is an apology. An apology from the depth of my heart: I am so fucking sorry. I- I don't know how to put it into words, never have been good with words really. I'm just sorry, Phil. So, so sorry." With that, Dan shut off the camera and uploaded it unedited, waited for it render, and went back to Phil's door.

"Phil, I-I'll leave you alone if that's what you want. J-just check YouTube, yeah? Just check YouTube." Dan sunk to the floor and brought his knees up to his chest, his face buried in between them. Within a minute, he heard his voice from behind the door, the words he'd just spoken being played through the speakers on Phil's laptop and, God, he sounded wrecked. What the hell were the fans going to think? He pushed the thought aside, that was the least of his problems right now. The video came to an end and Dan strained his ears for any sound whatsoever, only hearing silence. After a few minutes, a sob escaped his lips before he could stop it. Phil hated him. He'd lost the one thing that made him happy when he was down, that always knew what to say or do when he was stressing out, that was always reasonable and measured. He'd lost the bright eyed boy that was always smiling, lost the morning kisses, the pancakes for breakfast, the casual cuddles on the sofa during the day. But more importantly he'd lost the thing he loved more than anything in the world. The door clicked and Phil gently pulled it open, clutching one of his lions and wrapped up in his duvet like a cloak, so he could see the hallway, see Dan curled up on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks. Phil bit his lip and knelt down, carefully placing his lion on the floor and shredding the duvet. It was then that Dan finally realised he was there and he bolted up, a string of 'I'm sorry's' falling from his lips, eyes squeezed shut. Phil wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into his neck, placing a gentle kiss to the exposed skin. 

"Shh." Phil whispered, rubbing soothing circles onto Dan's back, the younger boy still choking on sobs. Dan clutched to Phil, arms as tight as a vice around his middle, face hidden in his hair. 

"Phil... I mean it. I- I'm so sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. I can't possibly express it, ever. Just- just please know that I love you." Dan said between sobs, inhaling Phil's soft scent in an attempt to calm himself. 

"I know. It's okay, Dan." Phil reassured, pressing several more kisses to Dan's neck. 

"No! No, it's not okay. I- I shouldn't have treated you like that. I know you hate it when people snap at you, and that remark about your ex? I want to punch myself, Phil." Dan exclaimed, self anger building. Fresh tears welled up in Phil's eyes and he slowly pulled away from Dan's neck and pressed his lips to the other boy's. Dan froze for a moment, surprised, before kissing back, hands holding Phil's waist, thumbs smoothing over the skin exposed from his tee shirt rising up. 

"I shouldn't have said that you were like him, Dan. I know you're not. I know you'd never hurt me either physically or emotionally. And that Charlie guy, we can't let him tear us apart. We can't give him that power over us. I love you, Dan, I love you so much it hurts me and I don't ever want you to leave."

"That's good then, cause I don't think I'm ever going anywhere where you're not."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was okay, I'm still kinda getting used to writing Dan and Phil! :) xx


End file.
